Take Control Of My Heath

I had to take back control of my health. I had no idea how much damage I had done to my internal organs, my mental capacity, and my spirituality.

Take Control Of My Heath

This piece by my friend and fellow blogger, Ken Grady, gives us a short and sweet insight on the arcane battle an average person in recovery must face. Unfortunately, we all learn the hard way that, as addicts, we are targeted as if we were all criminals. From being blamed for another’s shortcomings, to being seen as scum whenever we are casually living our lives. It seems as if those who look down on us don’t even acknowledge their own peccadilloes.

The fact that we are physically tired, sick and damaged plays a huge role in our lives. Not only because we “LOOK like addicts” but because the actual toll that addiction takes on our bodies can be fatal. This is just ONE aspect the Ken wittingly highlights. Many of us can attest that severe drug and alcohol use has cursed us and our organs from performing to the point where we are in constant physical pain. It all started as fun and as an escape but now we are trapped. Trapped in the continuous roller coaster that addiction places in our lives. This roller coaster gives us a feeling of excitement but with the many twists and turns, ups and downs, that excitement turns into fear and will leave us in a mental state of lassitude.

What about our spirituality? Well I can’t speak for everyone. Just like many aspects of recovery, we all have our own preferences and our own faults. It’s crucial to have a higher power. You need to believe in something especially when you don’t believe in yourself. Addiction possibly has the strongest effect on spirituality because of the simple fact that the whole experience seems like a punishment. I remember crying to God asking if he was even there. I cried out for him, for Jesus, for my mother, girlfriend, whoever. Did I truly deserve this pain? All I wanted was an answer as to why I was being put through this punishment. I lost hope and I lost faith. My spirituality was bleak and without that, what was the point? Sorry, I should say what IS the point. So hold on to that hope you have. Never let go of your faith. That spirituality is what will save you in the end, no matter how much you’re punished. It may get severely punished but hold on tight. This ride lasts.

Ken reminds us that although that roller coaster may seem never ending, it is possible to reach that end, but there is always a cost. The cost being that physicality, mental capacity and spirituality. So is it worth it? Is the punishment worth the ride? Honestly, that is a question I could never answer. my roller coaster ride is far from over. I can’t even see the final hill that will bring this ride to an end.

Make sure to follow Ken Grady! He will be posting more content on his blog!! Link is above!

By The Reticent

My goal isn’t even success nor redemption. The damage I’ve caused is way too deep. I look to provide a mental and emotional sanctuary to those need it and remind our people that change is possible. Who knows, maybe if I had that I’d really have success and redemption.

2 replies on “Take Control Of My Heath”

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